


"These People Are Fucking Weird" or "Jay Bonds With the Rest of the Proxies"

by spaceMaverick



Category: Creepypasta - Fandom
Genre: M/M, On Hiatus, itll probaby switch a bit throughout the story idk, reader is jay, reader is toby, this is a universe of headcanons and i hate everything
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-27 21:03:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10816716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceMaverick/pseuds/spaceMaverick
Summary: If Jay thoughthistrio was weird, wait til he meets the rest of the forced assassins living in a weird fort in the woods.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> i tend to make my own entire universe of things. undertale is the best example of this.

Jay tugged his hood further over his face in an attempt to shield it from the rain. Tim had his mask held over his head. Jay envied Brian, who was having very little trouble staying dry in his ridiculous mask. The pouring rain was the only sound in the forest as the trio tried to find shelter.

Finally, Tim spoke up. “This isn’t working,” he said. “We’ll all get the flu if we keep looking. Let’s just find Toby’s place.”

“That dinky little fort?” Brian’s reply was muffled by his mask. “I don’t feel like that’ll be any better.”

Jay stayed quiet, trying to process. He had heard about Toby, but never actually met him. He certainly didn’t remember hearing about a fort.

“Fine, I guess,” Brian continued. “It’s gotta be at least a _little_ better.”

Tim took the lead and looked around. He seemed to know where they were and turned left. Eventually Jay could see a dark shape through the rain. As they got closer, he saw it was a mass of branches somewhat woven into a structure. It had been built around a tree, which probably provided shelter from the rain. _That’s a good idea._

Brian (somehow) looked uncomfortable, but Tim walked up and found an entrance. Jay followed, pulling Brian behind him. He looked around the inside. The dirt surrounding the tree was soft and covered in pine needles. A large slab of rock served as a table with a random assortment of weapons and what looked like pills. Brian took off his mask and ran a hand through his wet hair. Looks like he hadn’t been spared. 

Tim peered through a doorway. “Aha! There they are,” he announced. Wait, they? Jay thought Toby lived alone. Maybe he had forgotten? “Looks like they’re asleep.” 

Jay looked into the next room and saw a man with dark brown hair slumped against the tree. Another, much smaller, person was lying face-down across his stomach. Tim put a hand on who Jay assumed was Toby’s shoulder and shook him awake. He looked up, confused, but then smiled. Jay saw a large gash on his left cheek.

“Tim! What are you doing here?” Toby tried to get up and accidentally shoved the other person off of him. They gave a small shout and looked around in panic. “Sorry! I forgot you were there,” Toby said. 

“I’m fine,” the other person said. They pushed hair out of their face and Jay froze. Their mouth was cut into a Glasgow grin and their eyes were freakishly wide. Jay could see a weird wetness on their face, too. _What the hell is wrong with these two?_

“Who’s that?” Toby asked, pausing Jay’s thoughts.

“I’m Jay.”

“Oh, Jay!” Toby said excitedly. “Tim’s told me about you. It’s great to finally meet!” Toby got up and shook Jay’s hand. There was a weird stiffness in him, like he was about to sneeze.

The stiffness was explained when Toby’s shoulders flinched. _What was that called again?_

“Sorry,” Toby said, rubbing the back of his neck, “I have Tourette's.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Jay replied. _Tourette’s._ That was the name. Jay felt something bump into him. The really small person was looking up at him.

“I’m Jeff,” he said in a strangely high voice. “ _I’ve_ never heard of you.” He glared at Toby. Brian chuckled. 

“Nice to meet you,” Jay said. Jeff didn’t shake his hand. He looked really young, despite the horrible scarring. Did that thing really recruit children?

The Universe seemed to enjoy interrupting Jay’s thoughts. He heard a loud distorted bark and whipped around to see a large husky. For once Tim and Brian seemed just as surprised. There was something off about the dog; it seemed like it knew what was happening.

Jeff and Toby weren’t phased. “Smile!” Jeff shouted. He ran over to the creepy dog and patted its head. It gave a terrifying grin to Jeff and Jay realized it had human teeth. _What the hell. What the hell?!_

“Toby,” Tim said, “What on Earth is that thing.”

“It’s Smile!” Toby replied. He walked over to pet the horrifying demon hellbeast. It smiled again. Jay wanted to throw up. “You should be glad Kate isn’t here,” Toby said to Jay, noticing his distraught expression. “You’d probably freak out completely.”

“Oh, where is Kate?” Tim asked while Brian went back to looking uncomfortable.

“I dunno. Out scaring demons with animal noises.” Toby said.

“Okay, why don’t I know about anything that’s going on?” Jay questioned.

“What d’ya need?” Brian asked while everyone else bonded again. Jay was glad he seemed to have some sense of reality.

“Who’s Kate? And why don’t we live here? How old is Jeff? I could go on.”

“Okay, okay,” Brian laughed. “I guess I’ll go down the list. First of all, Kate is another… forced assassin or whatever you’d call us. She was the first one here. Toby was second. Tim and I wanted some space to ourselves, then we found you. When we left, this place was a dumb little fort Toby and Jeff made because they’re married as hell. I think Jeff’s about seventeen now? He might be as old as nineteen. I’m not sure how long we’ve been away.”

“Married?”

“Is that all you got from that?”

“No, I just- whatever, just answer me!”

Brian laughed again. He sure liked laughing at Jay’s dismay. “Toby and Jeff are a thing. I don’t know what the hell Toby sees in that crusty-ass hellchild, but I don’t judge.” He looked over at Toby and Jeff, who were leaned against the rock-table, hands brushing. Tim wasn’t far off, nervously side-eyeing Smile, who stared him down. Jay decided to keep Tim company with the beast and Brian followed.

“So,” Jay thought aloud, trying to get everything straight, “There’s another person somewhere, the creepy dog is welcome here, those two are dating, and we don’t live here for some reason?”

“Sounds about right,” Brian said.

“Well, I don’t see why we couldn’t move in,” Tim chimed in, “I feel like we’re more comfortable with each other now. We only ever left because we needed to wrap our minds around the idea of being her forever.”

“I… guess you’re right,” Brian agreed.

“I think we should,” jay added, though he wasn’t sure if he should have.

“You totally should!” Toby shouted. “Then we can keep building the place up! You guys need to rejoin.”

“Yeah! Join our little weirdo family!” Jeff said. Toby bumped his head.

“That was the worst thing that’s ever come out of your mouth. Never say anything like that again.”

“Let me live, Toby.”

“Okay, okay,” Tim interrupted, “but I feel like we should let Kate have some sort of input.”

“What, you mean a noncommittal grunt and a shrug? I think she’ll be okay with it; she isn’t here all the time and seems okay with leaving when she’s uncomfortable.” Toby said. “Besides, Brian and her should get used to each other in case they ever have to work as a team.”

“And they just need to stop being so weird around each other,” Tim added with a cough.

“I’m right here,” Brian muttered. “But I can admit it would be good if we need to work together.”

“Then it’s settled!” Jeff said. “You’re moving in!”


	2. Chapter Two

“Moving in” with Jeff, Toby, and Kate wasn’t as difficult as it would have been in a normal situation. It’s not like Jay and his friends had any belongings to transport. Jef helped them find places to sleep until they could continue building.

“We can start when the ground dries up,” he explained, “It’ll be good to have more help!”

 

Building was hard.

First, they had to get branches long and sturdy enough to make into walls. Then there was the issue of finding leaves, twigs, and smaller branches to weave into a roof. Jay had a deeper appreciation for the house after searching for what felt like days.

“No, this won’t work,” Toby had said. “See this crack here? It’ll get worse over time. If someone bumped into it too many times, it’ll snap.” He looked around, the jumped up to rip a low-hanging branch from a tree. “This one bends easily, but won’t fall over when you lean against it.”

“How do you know which are good without taking them down?” Jay asked.

Toby shrugged. “We’ve been here a while. You kinda learn how to recognize them.” He braced himself to grab another branch, but jerked suddenly. “Shit. Thanks tics; love you, too.” Jay laughed at how casual Toby was in complaining. 

“Toby!” Brian called. “Tim’s stuck in a tree!”

Toby paused, then ran in the direction Brian’s voice came from. Jay followed and almost fell over when he saw Tim. The man was sitting on a shaky branch, hugging the trunk like a koala.

“Tim, you need to slide off that branch and onto the lower one,” Toby said.

“What? No! That’s way too far!” Tim gripped the tree tighter.

“Tim! Get on the next branch before that one breaks!”

“Are you calling me fat?”

“You already know you are!” Toby shouted. Jay snorted at Tim’s indignant expression. He shuffled around on his branch and stretched his leg out to reach the lower one.

“I’m too fucking short!”

“How did you even get up there?” Toby was shouting at the top of his lungs. Jay wondered if Kate could hear them.  
“There was a lot of struggling,” Brian sighed.

“Okay, I think I- _SHIT!_ ” Tim was cut off by a hard _thump_. He groaned and rolled over. Brian ran to make sure he was okay. 

“Jesus Christ, Tim!” Brian yelped. “Did you break anything?”

“No,” Tim replied, “I’ll just have a really bad bruise.”

“Are you sure?” Brian looped an arm around Tim’s waist and helped him up.

“ _Yes,_ Brian.” Tim leaned heavily on Brian. Jay hoped he was really okay.

“That looked really painful, even for me,” Toby said. “Don’t, like, do anything for a while.”

“I’ll know when I’m good,” Tim grimaced.

“Seriously, don’t make it worse.”

“I’ll make sure he stays down,” Brian said. He pulled Tim closer and the two walked towards the house. Toby looked around, hands on his hips.

“I think that branch Tim was on’ll work, actually,” Toby remarked, “It supported his weight really well. Do you have any idea how heavy he is?”

“No, not really,” Jay said awkwardly. Why did _Toby_ know? Toby did his freakish jump up the tree and yanked the branch down. He shook a splinter out of his hand.

“Now where’s Jeff?” Toby said under his breath. He looked around for a moment. “Jeff!” He called.

“Yeah?” Jeff appeared behind Jay, making him jump away.

“Jesus, don’t do that!”

“Not my fault you’re deaf,” Jeff retorted. Toby glared at him.

“Let’s go home and start working.” Toby lead the way back.

**Author's Note:**

> ta-daaa!!! *jazz hands*  
> what am i doing with my fucking life.  
> this'll probably update really irregularly because i write really impulsively and in random bursts.


End file.
